It’s school holiday time, so let’s think about what you need to consider when planning a family holiday as a single parent for the first time.
Who’s going?
Let’s consider the simple – who’s going. Will it be just you and your children, or are you considering a larger group of family and friends? Are you planning on inviting your new partner and perhaps even their children? It might be worth joining an organised group if you are going alone and don’t want to be the only adult on the holiday.
Start with permission.
This is essential pre-holiday planning. Unless the other parent of your child is deceased, you might need permission to take your child on holiday. This may be easy if you have a healthy co-parenting relationship, as flexibility is often required when scheduling flight times, etc. Don’t forget, a one-week holiday often requires eight days because of travel times. If communication with your ex is tricky and strictly by the rules, you might need to find a holiday that fits your pick-up and drop-off times.
If you are going abroad, your children will need passports to travel. This can take time to organise, so if they don’t already have one, start the process as early as possible.
It is worth travelling with official proof that you have parental responsibility for your children and with a permission letter from your child’s other parent. I once tried to fly to Canada with my children without their father (my husband) and without a permission letter. We spent a tricky hour at the airport until my husband could give verbal permission by phone and promised that he was joining us a few days later. My young boys were taken away from me to the side to be interviewed, and it was all a little distressing.
Don’t forget, it can be extra tricky if you don’t share the same surname as your children, as different surnames can be a red flag at passport control.
Where to go.
This may take some consideration. I’ve known people to choose a familiar destination, as it reduces the unknown when they get there. On the other hand, do you really want to go somewhere if there are lots of memories from your old life?
Consider your children’s ages. Do you need a toddler-friendly place or somewhere with many activities for older children? You also need to consider the type of accommodation you require, whether you want your meals provided, or other services like laundry, babysitting, etc. Do you prefer to spend time sightseeing or have a restful beach holiday?
If travelling abroad seems too daunting or not within your budget, there are plenty of wonderful places to visit in the UK.
What else to consider.
Travelling alone with your children means you must rethink all aspects of the holiday. How do you deal with luggage, passport control, etc.? You should consider how you will travel to the airport and your holiday destination. You must also ensure you know about your child’s allergies, medical history, and food preferences. Don’t forget travel insurance.
Holidaying with young children may mean spending many evenings alone if they have early bedtimes. Consider accommodation with a place to sit in the evenings besides a hotel bedroom. A hotel with room service may be handy if you can’t leave your children alone while they sleep. You may have to readjust your expectations of a family holiday.
Communicating with home while away.
You can plan and decide how your child stays in touch with their other parent while they are away. What’s an appropriate amount of communication? Prior agreement with your ex-partner is always a good idea, as you don’t need frantic emails and arguments disturbing your time with your children. It is worth considering that too much communication can be as bad as no communication.
If your children aren’t used to being without their other parent, try to think of ways to keep them busy and distracted. Children can naturally feel weepy when tired; they may miss their other parent during these moments. It is okay if your children have these feelings; they can feel sad, have a wonderful holiday, and hold both positions.
It may be a new experience for you and your child, and if so, there’s a good chance it will be their first holiday without their other parent. There will be feelings. This new experience will one day become routine. Don’t be disappointed if it doesn’t all go according to plan.
